


how to meet the guardians of the galaxy (a very bad idea)

by Aqua_Artist



Series: how to join the guardians of the galaxy (a very bad idea) [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Of course you do, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, do you want to meet the guardians, time to make some bad decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 12:20:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10899246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aqua_Artist/pseuds/Aqua_Artist
Summary: "The reason behind everything I've been doing is that I wanted to find you.”“That’s why you didn’t steal anything? But now you have a bounty on your head,” Star-Lord says.“Yes. It might have been a little shortsighted on my part, but it was important that I found you, so I decided it was worth a criminal record on my part.”“You found us. Now you will go to prison and never see us again," Gamora remarks. Well. Crap. This might have been a terrible idea.(work currently abandoned)





	how to meet the guardians of the galaxy (a very bad idea)

Kraglin’s just relaxing on the bridge, attempting to have a perfectly nice and quiet day, when the communicator starts beeping, vibrating itself off of the shelf it had been resting on. He picks it up… well, great.

“Hey, guys, I just got a notice from the Nova Corps, seems official and all… is this a thing that’s supposed to happen? I know we saved their homeworld that one time, but that doesn’t exactly make us best buds,” Kraglin rambles, fiddling around with some buttons on the communicator until the message comes up on the ship’s display. It’s a warrant for your arrest with a request for the Guardians to capture you, offering them quite a nice reward for your retrieval. Peter looks up from his attempt at upgrading tech -- Rocket still has him beat in that area, although he’ll never admit that -- and whistles appreciatively at the amount.

“That is a lot of money, and they’re asking for the Guardians of the Galaxy, so I’m going with yes, definitely supposed to happen,” Peter answers. “Set us a course for Xandar, would you?” Kraglin nods, plotting out a flight plan -- they could use jumps to get there, but there are far too many and he doesn’t exactly want a repeat of the trip to Ego’s planet, so he sets the Quadrant on an autopilot course instead.

“Did I hear a lot of money? ‘Cause I’m interested in that,” Rocket says, climbing down from the upper level. “Aw, man, check out that warrant! I remember when I would see those with my face on them. Those were the days… although I might be persuaded to enjoy being on the other side of that bounty offer.”

“Do we have any intel on the criminal?” Gamora asks, settling into a chair on the bridge. Peter picks up the communicator and throws it over to her; she catches it automatically, shaking her head at his inability to just walk over to her with only a hint of a repressed smile. Groot taps at her ankle, and she reaches down to pick him up and deposits him on her shoulder. He peers down at the comm with wide-eyed fascination.

“No previous record,” she announces, “and no name. All the Nova Corps know of them is what they attempted yesterday; they broke into the vault where the orb is held and left uncaught, having taken nothing.” Gamora frowns at this, unsettled by knowing someone could have stolen the infinity stone.

“They cannot take the stone! That would be disastrous! They must be stopped,” Drax says, surprising Groot, who did not notice his entrance, into losing his balance for a moment. He quickly regains it and settles back down on Gamora’s shoulder.

“How the hell’d they break in?” Rocket asks. “I’m impressed. Concerned, but also impressed.”

“Video footage cut out before the break-in and was not restored until after they had left. The picture of them on the warrant is of them just before they entered security. None of the guards remember anything; they knocked them out upon entering.”

“So they’re powerful enough to have stolen an infinity stone if they wanted to, and we don’t have any idea of how they managed it?” Peter recaps with what would have been helpful if anyone had not been paying attention. (But they all had been. So it wasn’t helpful.) “Sounds like a job for the galaxy’s premier guardians. Get ready to suit up, everyone.”

You’re chilling out in the middle of a secluded Xandar park, the headphones secured around your ears pumping out some chill music as you lean back against what you’re going to call a tree. It’s close enough, anyways. You know you’re in a really obvious spot right out in the open, still on Xandar, which means you’ve accomplished exactly what you wanted to. And, damn, do you love Porter Robinson. You wonder if he’s released any new music since you’ve been on Earth, and decide if you ever go back that will be your number one priority. Well, maybe number two.

There’s something moving in your field of vision -- you decide to actually focus your eyes and pay attention, and that looks like the Milano? You hope it is the Milano, and not just some random Ravager ship. It would really suck if that’s the case. You’re getting excited anyways, though. You pause your music, slip your headphones off, and tuck those and your phone into the fanny pack at your side. Why are these things not cool on Earth? They are the most helpful.

The ship opens, and even from afar you recognize the silhouettes of the Guardians, hell yeah! Time to get ready.

“They’re just standing over there,” Peter says, trying to understand what you’re doing. “Do they not realize there’s a bounty on their head? Why are they still on Xandar?”

“It appears we’ve found someone even worse at being a criminal than you used to be, Quill,” Gamora remarks, enjoying Peter’s affronted reaction.

“Do you think this is a trap?” Rocket asks, that being the only reason he can think of for why you’ve seen them and not done anything.

“We must not let them get away!” Drax announces, jumping off the ship and running towards you. Nothing strange happens.

“That’s one way to answer the question,” Rocket sighs, flying off the ship, turning to wave to Groot on the bridge’s window before he hits the ground.

Drax is running towards you, knives in hand. Well, you had been hoping to talk to them before a fight started, but you were now a wanted criminal, so you suppose fair’s fair. Time for a battle, then, and here they are! Dodge him, Rocket fired at the base of the tree and it’s falling so get out of the way, Gamora has her sword and man it would be cool if you have a sword but you don’t so instead you hold up a piece of the tree and let yourself get pushed back, turns out alien trees are terrible for blocking swords. Star-Lord and Rocket are firing at you, and all this dodging and dancing is somewhat fun, far more interesting than breaking into the vault. You aren’t making any progress besides, like, not dying, so you wouldn’t say it’s exactly going super well for you.

“Hey there-” holy hell duck- “so this is kind of like a big meet-your-heroes thing for me, and I’d appreciate it if you could stop attacking me for a moment-” okay that one singed a big of your hair- “I know I don’t seem really great right now but I promise I didn’t steal anything or even want to steal anything-”

“Oh, do you have a motivation? Don’t care,” Rocket says, aiming straight for you, but luckily you move out of the way -- right into the path of Drax, damn it they are good at fighting together! He reaches back and hurls a knife towards you, aiming to incapacitate your arm, no you don’t want to be stabbed! -- reflexively you reach out a hand, stop!

The knife halts in mid-air -- everyone freezes -- you did not mean to do that! -- it falls to the ground.

“Damn it, that was not how I wanted to reveal my badass powers!” you curse. Out loud.

“Um. Hello,” you try again. Star-Lord presses his hand to the side of his face, and his mask disappears, revealing his very confused face. (He is human! Having this confirmed makes your heart jump a little bit in joy -- you’re not alone out here -- despite how poorly everything is going.) “Now that you’re, uh, not attacking me, do you mind if I use this chance to explain some shit?”

“You better,” Rocket says in a tone that is one whit away from open threat, settling his gun down and crossing his arms.

“I’m Y/N, but, uh, you don’t have to introduce yourself. Because you’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, and that’s cool, so I already know who you are.” Could you be any worse at this? “You might, like, be wondering why I broke into the vault but didn’t steal anything, and why I was waiting out here in plain sight, and why I wasn’t fighting back when you started attacking.”

“Yes, I have been thinking all of those things,” Drax responds.

“Okay, um, great, because I have one easy answer for that!” You start nervously fiddling with your hands, and the knife rises from the ground, spinning around aimlessly in midair. The Guardians assume defensive stances, eyes narrowed.

“Oh my god sorry, that is not a threat, shit, I just got nervous.” You force your hands to be still, and the knife drops again. No one really relaxes. “Anyways. The answer. Yes. The reason behind all the stuff I’ve been doing, is that I wanted to find you.”

“Really,” Gamora deadpans, clearly thinking that that is a bogus excuse, which it admittedly kind of sounds like. You should probably explain more.

“Yes, yes, that’s the real actual reason. I used my powers to break into the vault, thinking that since you were the ones who put the orb there you’d probably be alerted if I broke in, and you were. So that part worked!”

“That’s why you didn’t steal anything? But now you have a bounty on your head,” Star-Lord says.

“Yes. It might have been a little shortsighted on my part, but it was important that I found you, so I decided it was worth a criminal record on my part.”

“The reason why we are here is to return you to the Nova Corps, so we are somewhat obligated to now do so. That’s quite shortsighted,” Gamora remarks. “You found us. Now you will go to prison and never see us again.” Well. Crap. This might have been a terrible idea.

“Wait wait wait,” you stammer out. “I didn’t tell you the very, very important reason why I had to find you.”

“And what is that?” Star-Lord asks, ready for you to get on with it.

“I bring word from Earth,” you say, drawing yourself up taller and attempting to create the certain gravitas required for this message.

“Yes?” Rocket raises his eyebrows. They’re all tired of this, clearly waiting for you to be done so that they can start fighting again. This isn’t exactly what you envisioned when you first heard of them, seeing a broadcast of them from the ship you had taken passage on in an attempt to find help, anyone you could pass this message along to. There they were, a superhero team like the Avengers had once been. They were galaxy-savers. And in that moment you had felt hope.

You don’t feel any of that hope right now.

You take a deep breath.

“I bring word that Thanos has plans to assemble the Infinity Gauntlet.”

The reactions aren’t what you had prepared for -- only a moderate level of concern, the kind that comes from hearing of Thanos (come on this is an end-of-the-universe concern!) -- except for Gamora’s. Her eyes flash with fear, her hand tightens over her sword.

“He would not dare to.” She stares at you, searching your eyes, and you nod resolutely.

“I take it this is a big deal?” Rocket asks, but he’s met with no response. There’s a pause, just long enough to deliberate something very important.

“We don’t take them to the Nova Corps,” Gamora declares, met with protests from everyone else. She stares at Star-Lord for a moment, and they fall away.

“Thank you,” you tell her, your voice heavy with the most immense weight.

“Do not thank me. If Thanos truly is assembling the gauntlet, then we must act.” You swallow once, what have you gotten yourself into, and nod once more. Twirling your hand, you float the hilt of the knife up over to Drax, who plucks it from the air in one motion. The Guardians turn as one and stride back towards the ship -- you tag along behind them, finding yourself awkwardly slow in comparison.

Okay, okay. Breathe. So, that could have gone better, but it could have gone a lot worse? You finally met the Guardians, and it seems like they are going to help you save the universe from being destroyed. Step one accomplished.

You have no idea what the hell step two is.

As you step on board the Milano, you hear Rocket say, “damn, I was really looking forward to that bounty.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i'll be adding to this with the reader's adventures as they attempt to become a guardian of the galaxy and save the universe. feel free to leave a request for something you'd like me to write for the series, and i'll add it in!


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